I'm having to stay in Edmond tonight because my parents are in Texas and my brother needs a ride to school tomorrow. Well, we ran some errands and things of that such today and I realized why I can't stay in Edmond anymore. I have too many ghost. I've made too many ghost. Ghost that I ran from. You know those memories that you love, but there is a part of you that hates them so much. I ran into Ashley Weathers today at the mall. She brought up the ghost of Angela... You know you've made such a big mistake when something hurts that bad. I mean I can't even go to my old places I use to run to because I keep thinking of Jenna. Man, I'm just one big fuck up. Then when we ordered a pizza, Abe came over because he was the delivery guy. That's just an evil ghost of how my best friends, MY BEST FRIENDS, the people that got me through most of high school are just killing themselves. HOW CAN YOU DO SOMETHING AS STUPID AS ECSTASY!? that's just some bad shit...I want to be there for them, but if they are going to be doing such a horrible narcotic, I can't be there. I love Amanda and McKenzie more then I could ever put in words but that is just stupid.
Another weird thing about seeing Ashley is that you realize how stupid you are as a high school kid. You think you know everything back when you are in high school, but then you get out and then you see. You didn't know shit. I mean one of my friends got mugged by some guy in a ski mask with a 12 gauge shotgun. The bitch, the one that is related to me by marriage and is the mother of my heart, Selena, had another kid. Don't get me wrong, I love Selena and I know I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for her, but the Bitch is just so evil...I'm scared for that little boy. God keep an eye on them, because they will need a flock of Angels to watch over them. Just keep praying that I'll get the job out of state this summer because I don't think I can stay here...