SUMMER, IT'S HERE!!! Now leave damnit!!!!! I know it sounds funny, but I want summer already to be over. I hate it. I hate summer more then anything right now. I never see anyone. The people who do want to see me, for a majority of them, I don't want to see them. KeV (I'm going to use pseudonyms because I don't want there to be flat out names) has been calling me...great. They always have some drama, which is fine every once in a while. Just not every day. She smokes weed, not something I'm into at all. Then I got LaE. Sweetheart. Love her but...(don't want to get into it). Then there is the family. WHY THE GOD DAMN HELL DO THEY HAVE TO FIGHT SO FUCKING MUCH?! Went home for my brothers birthday, not home more then 24 hours and my dad and brother are in a fight. Great...
Then there is AaF. I made an apology to her and was there for her when she was going to commit suicide to talk her down, but it really wasn't a place I need to be when I was stressing over finals, but life comes before all else.
After finals, I'm so spent. Got nothing to offer. Just tired. Wish I could go home to rest but I'm not exactly sure where that is. I have a strong feeling like CsM doesn't want to see or hear me or about me for the whole break, which is fine. I can respect and understand that. But that completely knocks out Norman, and like I said earlier, don't really want to go to Edmonds. It doesn't feel like home. Wish I knew what to do...fuck.
Just wish summer was already over, football season was here so I could go get lost in Sassafras for a while and school. Haze some pledges...(that comment was for you Heather if you are reading this, chances are that you will eventually), not really. In fact I need to make friends with next years pledges so they will vote in a block with us 04s to change how the club runs. See the girls and meet new people. That's all the stuff I want to do and see next semester but right now, that's 3 long months away.
What's funny was that I was scared of college because I have and still don't have any idea what's going to happen day to day. Now that I've been through college, I don't want it to end because I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach like I know what is going to happen day to day and moment to moment this summer. Nothing. I'm pretty sure that I will drive to Thalequah this summer to see my brother Matt because that sounds like fun. This entry seems pretty depressed, but it's just the fact that I'm looking monotony in the face right now, so it seems like I have to go find stuff to do this summer, which I can do and will do when I just get off my ass.
Then there is AaF. I made an apology to her and was there for her when she was going to commit suicide to talk her down, but it really wasn't a place I need to be when I was stressing over finals, but life comes before all else.
After finals, I'm so spent. Got nothing to offer. Just tired. Wish I could go home to rest but I'm not exactly sure where that is. I have a strong feeling like CsM doesn't want to see or hear me or about me for the whole break, which is fine. I can respect and understand that. But that completely knocks out Norman, and like I said earlier, don't really want to go to Edmonds. It doesn't feel like home. Wish I knew what to do...fuck.
Just wish summer was already over, football season was here so I could go get lost in Sassafras for a while and school. Haze some pledges...(that comment was for you Heather if you are reading this, chances are that you will eventually), not really. In fact I need to make friends with next years pledges so they will vote in a block with us 04s to change how the club runs. See the girls and meet new people. That's all the stuff I want to do and see next semester but right now, that's 3 long months away.
What's funny was that I was scared of college because I have and still don't have any idea what's going to happen day to day. Now that I've been through college, I don't want it to end because I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach like I know what is going to happen day to day and moment to moment this summer. Nothing. I'm pretty sure that I will drive to Thalequah this summer to see my brother Matt because that sounds like fun. This entry seems pretty depressed, but it's just the fact that I'm looking monotony in the face right now, so it seems like I have to go find stuff to do this summer, which I can do and will do when I just get off my ass.
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