Craziness. That's all my life is. It's more nuts then I could ever explain. I became part of the oldest male spirit group at OU. The RUF/NEKS. I put more work into it then I could ever tell you. It was harsh. The 7, the week. I'm not going into detail seeing has how this is on the internet and the school is watching the RUF/NEKS like hawks because earlier, we got in trouble for hazing, but no hazing had occured so I don't know what the school got so up in arms about. My initials are A.B.O.T., and I'm proud of them, because it took A LOT to get them.
Other stuff that has occured. We, being my pledge class got initiated before the last game of the season, which happened to be the Nebraska game. Now keep in mind that I already had issues with fans from other Big 12 schools, some being Texas and OSU, to name a few, but in a matter of a few seconds, the school of Nebraska took up the whole top 5 hated schools. We were doing all the normal RUF/NEK stuff, such as shooting off shotguns at the appropriate times, and taking care of the Schooner, and heckling the team. One guy got picked out, Darren DeLone, a 6 foot 5, 315 lb member of Nebraska's Offensive line. He ran into a RUF/NEK, Matt Tinsley, and Matt made the comment, "Whoa, man I don't swing that way." So of course, he gets pissed. With continued heckling, he decides he's going to get Matt, but in the course of his revenge, he gets Adam Merrit, my pledge brother. The thing that has happened since the RUF/NEKS is the fact that I've gotten close friendships with many good guys, especially the ones in my pledge class. Adam is a good guy, and was severly hurt in the attack. He lost 2 teeth, had a concussion. What's funny is that newspapers are saying that Adam is permantly disfigured because of the accident. The only reason he is disfigured, is because the oral surgeon did a crappy job. One of Adam's front teeth was knocked out and crushed and the fake looks like shit. It's kind of funny.
Other issues, is that I need to be making a 2.0, I'm not, but I'm pretty sure I will. It really sucks. I really need to be in the 3.0+ range. I'm trying, but since pledge ship, I didn't have the time to devote to my studies and since pledge ship lasted so long, I didn't develop the good study skills I needed. I still might be able to pull a 3.0 out of my ass if I just work hard. Pray for me.
Another thing is that 2 close friends of mine have made the comment to me that I've changed in a negative way over the past couple of years. My close friend Heather thinks I've changed, and became an arrogant ass. Which was true for the time. My friend Lisa, says I don't depend on God and speak and praise his name as much I as I use to. Which is currently true. This has left many questions in my mind. Do I try to revert back? What was so good about the person I supposedly use to be? Can I revert back? I'm still pondering these questions. Truthfully, I don't know what to think. But I can see a positive correlation between the 2. I mean, God wants us to be good people and serve him, but recently, especially since college, I think the person getting stuff done positively for me has been myself. So I guess, I haven't been humble and given God his due for his good works. He has done good, just enjoys watching his subjects get tested, I mean just look at the man Job. He was tested by God to prove a point to the devil that he has people that will worship him and praise him no matter how bad things get. You know I don't envy Job. Also, you have to understand that I've been a zoology major, and we study how the environment works. The biggest issue in the animal world is adaptation and evolution. "Adapt or Die" as a sign in my biology teacher's class so mildly put it the first day of my High School Career. So isn't all change, that allows you to wake up and face everyday good? I mean to tell you the truth, I don't know how I'm making it anymore. Just feel lost. I wake up and go to class, hang out with Chris (my room mate) and worry about if my family is making it alright. If my mom has someone to talk to. If my dad has someone to help him with the work around the house. If my brother has someone to give a ride and to compensate for the overwhelming force that is my father. I do know one thing, getting drunk and raising hell with the RUF/NEKS isn't helping any. I mean I can't blame the organization I love dearly. I must take my part of what ever negative traits I have picked up. Just wish I knew what to do. I have my friends currently that say I worry too much about others. I could take their advice and just become focused on myself. But even as I write that, it doesn't sound right. I mean I grew up in a hispanic family. God, Family, Friends, everone else and then yourself. Those are the prioities that were instilled in me since birth. I also can't ingnore the words of Lisa and Heather. Combined those 2 contain so much of my love, the only thing I can think of that I love more then those 2 would be God and then Selena, even if Selena happens to be a lot of trouble. I don't know, I just wish I had an easy fix it for this. All I think I can do is focus on my work, fill the minimal amount of duties that I have to the RUF/NEKS and just get my head together. Wish me luck and pray for me. I will say that as long as I have my choice to stay celebate until marriage, that whatever person that Heather and Lisa think I was, is still there. That proves that I've stuck and will stick to my morals that have always made me. Just need to refocus on my morals and define and support them.
Other stuff that has occured. We, being my pledge class got initiated before the last game of the season, which happened to be the Nebraska game. Now keep in mind that I already had issues with fans from other Big 12 schools, some being Texas and OSU, to name a few, but in a matter of a few seconds, the school of Nebraska took up the whole top 5 hated schools. We were doing all the normal RUF/NEK stuff, such as shooting off shotguns at the appropriate times, and taking care of the Schooner, and heckling the team. One guy got picked out, Darren DeLone, a 6 foot 5, 315 lb member of Nebraska's Offensive line. He ran into a RUF/NEK, Matt Tinsley, and Matt made the comment, "Whoa, man I don't swing that way." So of course, he gets pissed. With continued heckling, he decides he's going to get Matt, but in the course of his revenge, he gets Adam Merrit, my pledge brother. The thing that has happened since the RUF/NEKS is the fact that I've gotten close friendships with many good guys, especially the ones in my pledge class. Adam is a good guy, and was severly hurt in the attack. He lost 2 teeth, had a concussion. What's funny is that newspapers are saying that Adam is permantly disfigured because of the accident. The only reason he is disfigured, is because the oral surgeon did a crappy job. One of Adam's front teeth was knocked out and crushed and the fake looks like shit. It's kind of funny.
Other issues, is that I need to be making a 2.0, I'm not, but I'm pretty sure I will. It really sucks. I really need to be in the 3.0+ range. I'm trying, but since pledge ship, I didn't have the time to devote to my studies and since pledge ship lasted so long, I didn't develop the good study skills I needed. I still might be able to pull a 3.0 out of my ass if I just work hard. Pray for me.
Another thing is that 2 close friends of mine have made the comment to me that I've changed in a negative way over the past couple of years. My close friend Heather thinks I've changed, and became an arrogant ass. Which was true for the time. My friend Lisa, says I don't depend on God and speak and praise his name as much I as I use to. Which is currently true. This has left many questions in my mind. Do I try to revert back? What was so good about the person I supposedly use to be? Can I revert back? I'm still pondering these questions. Truthfully, I don't know what to think. But I can see a positive correlation between the 2. I mean, God wants us to be good people and serve him, but recently, especially since college, I think the person getting stuff done positively for me has been myself. So I guess, I haven't been humble and given God his due for his good works. He has done good, just enjoys watching his subjects get tested, I mean just look at the man Job. He was tested by God to prove a point to the devil that he has people that will worship him and praise him no matter how bad things get. You know I don't envy Job. Also, you have to understand that I've been a zoology major, and we study how the environment works. The biggest issue in the animal world is adaptation and evolution. "Adapt or Die" as a sign in my biology teacher's class so mildly put it the first day of my High School Career. So isn't all change, that allows you to wake up and face everyday good? I mean to tell you the truth, I don't know how I'm making it anymore. Just feel lost. I wake up and go to class, hang out with Chris (my room mate) and worry about if my family is making it alright. If my mom has someone to talk to. If my dad has someone to help him with the work around the house. If my brother has someone to give a ride and to compensate for the overwhelming force that is my father. I do know one thing, getting drunk and raising hell with the RUF/NEKS isn't helping any. I mean I can't blame the organization I love dearly. I must take my part of what ever negative traits I have picked up. Just wish I knew what to do. I have my friends currently that say I worry too much about others. I could take their advice and just become focused on myself. But even as I write that, it doesn't sound right. I mean I grew up in a hispanic family. God, Family, Friends, everone else and then yourself. Those are the prioities that were instilled in me since birth. I also can't ingnore the words of Lisa and Heather. Combined those 2 contain so much of my love, the only thing I can think of that I love more then those 2 would be God and then Selena, even if Selena happens to be a lot of trouble. I don't know, I just wish I had an easy fix it for this. All I think I can do is focus on my work, fill the minimal amount of duties that I have to the RUF/NEKS and just get my head together. Wish me luck and pray for me. I will say that as long as I have my choice to stay celebate until marriage, that whatever person that Heather and Lisa think I was, is still there. That proves that I've stuck and will stick to my morals that have always made me. Just need to refocus on my morals and define and support them.
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